That Explains Things

"...look, I've got two daughters. 9 years old and 6 years old. I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby."

-Barack Obama

Boy, that sure explains why I've got all these kids. Just a couple of days ago when statements like "I don't want you putting ham on your brother's head" and "no, you may not ride the dog" were coming out of my mouth, I figured raising my children must be some sort of cosmic punishment.